We needed this like we need a dose of badly cooked dough

You remember the Pillsbury Doghboy, don't you? ... No? Well, you might not, as he was supposed to have died in March 2009 at the ripe old age of 71, according to numerous obituaries. Trouble is, one of our Dear Readers has discovered that the ubuquitous spokesthing for Pillsbury never did die at all, at all.You may well ask why we raise the matter in the first place and we can't really answer you. The truth is that our good friend CraftyPip does thoroughly enjoy a good pun or twelve, and is a highly developed punologist with a twisted sense of humour (but we love 'im anyway). Here goes:>>>

Glad tidings... the Pilsbury Dough Boy hasn´t died, he was just feeling a little burnt out, battered, and rather low on salts.

The feeling that life was becoming a little stale and deflated was brought about in a heated exchange with  Weir Dough, a local nut, who had described him as half baked, lacking  fibre, and to go and get stuffed.

Feeling totally browned off and to get over the currant cooked up stories, he and his wife Play Dough, have been prescribed a yeast medication  which is proving a  great success , slowly raising their knead for a new recipe for disaster.

Having  rolled down to the local pet store , they couldn´t help but feeling they had paid a cut above the rest to the store owner Con Dough, when they were  relieved of a sizeable slice of their surplus bread to purchase their new sausage dog Fi Dough.  

Their children John and Jane Dough  have both got engaged to a couple of dead beats Pseu Dough and Wal Dough. 

As for their youngest son, Dil Dough, he has a new girl friend, Libi Dough but in reality  nothing has changed, and he continues to make a complete prick of himself.