Have a good weekend

Enjoy!

It must be Monday ...

Just a (virtual) giggle - it is Sunday, innit?

Customer: "Tell me, is there a spray I can buy for my computer?"

Tech Support: "Er, I beg your pardon?"

Customer: "You know, a spray -- one that I can spray the inside of my computer with."

Tech Support: "What sort of spray are we talking about here?  

I thought perhaps you might have seen someone use a can of compressed air to clean out a machine and mistook it for some sort of spray...">>>

Have a little giggle - it's Sunday!

Tech Support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear that my boyfriend bought for

                me on Saturday. Why?

You can download this app anytime...

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech Support: Are you sure your keyboard is plugged

                into the computer?

Customer: No.  I can't get behind the computer.

Tech Support: Pick up your keyboard and take ten

                steps backwards.

Customer: Okay.

Tech Support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes.

Tech Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged

                in.  Is there another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here.  Wait a

                moment please. . . . . . .  Ah, that one does work.

                Thanks.

Great problem-solving management chart

We were inspired by Sue's post on Facebook. This is the kind of chart Prospero has always had to work with - and it works! (Can't you tell?) Have a nice Sunday...

A laugh or more for a Sunday...

Customer: I can't get on the internet.

Tech Support: Are you absolutely sure you used the

                  correct password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure.  I saw my co-worker do it. 

Tech Support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five dots.

(More below)

Just for laffs

(Cartoon: glasbergen.com)

A couple of (familiar) funnies that raised a smile:  

Tech Support: Click on the 'MY COMPUTER' icon on the left of the screen.

Customer: Your left or my left?

Tech Support: Hello.  How may I help you?

Male Customer:  Hi .. . . I can't print.

Tech Support: Would you click on 'START' for me and . . ..

Customer: Listen, mate, don't you start getting technical me.  I'm not Bill Gates!!!     

Remember this?

And they used to cost 10c!

An old but good story that still raises a smile among wrinklies

WORLD At the checkout counter, the young cashier suggested to the older woman that she should bring her own shopping bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment and she had to pay for them. The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."

The cashier responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations." She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.>>>

Could be true ...

Customer calls up the Technical Support line that appears on her screen (she has to be a she, no?)

Tech Support: What kind of computer do you have? Customer: A white one.

(This, not the image we found for ourselves cozwedidn'thaveanythingelsetodo,not, was sent in by e-mail by someone who hadn't checked her e-mail for about seventeen years - but, hey, we're grateful anyway.) (She sent in more...)

97% of Spaniards see corruption as a major concern

Apropos corruption scandals erupting almost daily (and seen on TioJimeno): 'Everything went on behind my back.' By El Roto, appearing in El País.

Grandparents answerphone - have a laugh, it's Monday!

We picked this up from our wall (Fbook, outside's too bumpy to write on...) (Translated by TranslationHELP, who can help you with anything related to Spanish, for a very modest sum) A (Spanish) grandparents' answer phone: "Good morning. We can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message after the beep. Beeeeeep.   If you are one of our children please press 1 followed by the number of the order of your birth so we can identify you. SOON YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO ENJOY ITEMS SUCH AS THIS IF YOU DON'T SUBSCRIBE.>>>

Thought you'd enjoy this one...

Social Security reform encourages Americans to live faster, die younger

This threatens to return us to one of our favourite JimenaPulse features (Laugh on Sunday, we think we called it) that just dried up over the summer along with most of our plants. It was sent in by Sheila H, whose plants are still surviving. We have reason to believe this might also be pertinent to Europe in its present state of uncertainty ... (Send in your funnies, people, and let's all laugh - we need it!)

The situation in Britain

"...and stamp my feet" adds Sheila, who sent this in. Oooh, David must be absolutely steaming now, after having had to come back from his holiday. But then he had all the rest of the boys and girls do the same...

EuropaSurLeaks: What the Pentagon didn't dare publish, by Ricardo Tejeiro

 

Captions: (Left to Right) "And now the video of my honeymoon with my third wife..." "Nooooo! I'll talk! I'll talk!" "Now you can laugh about the 'simulated drowning' torture."

The Royal Loo, by Ricardo Tejeiro

 

At the Royal W.C., by Ricardo Tejeiro: 'Oh Dear, I've run out of toilet paper ...' - 'Would someone please bring me the protest note from the Spanish Government about Gibraltar.'

It is Sunday but we're not sure if we should laugh or cry

This came in via e-mail from a regular contributor who wishes to remain anonymous. Thing is, it would be funny if it weren't so sad that people like this think they should police the world. YouTube is full of 'stupid Americans' (and quite a few 'stupid Brits', not to mention other stupid nationalities) and even discussion groups and book presentations of titles like 'How Stupid Are We?' (the American edition) as though ignorance were something to be proud of.

Sunday it is, so Sunday we laugh...

Bet you wondered why we keep getting those oh-so-damned-annoying little light cuts. The real reason is that Endesa, our favourite electricity company, has hardly anyone checking their lines anywhere near where there may be problems. Needless to say, the pylons are delighted.

It must be Sunday but are we supposed to laugh?

Engineering Question (this is really for non-engineers like us): Conditions: A backhoe weighing 22 tons is on top of a lowboy trailer and heading east on Interstate 70 near Hays, Kansas . The extended shovel arm is made of hardened refined steel and the approaching overpass is made of commercial-grade concrete, reinforced with 1 inch steel rebar spaced at 6 inch intervals in a criss-cross pattern layered at 1 foot vertical spacing. Solve: When the shovel arm hits the overpass, how fast do you have to be going to slice the bridge in half ? (Assume no effect for headwind and no braking by the driver.) Extra Credit: Solve for the time and distance Required for the entire rig to come to a complete stop after hitting the overpass at the speed calculated above. Yes, you can neglect friction... (See below for answer)