Queen sues dating service for using her image

MADRID 'You don't have to spend the night alone any more,' says the ad for the Ashley Madison online dating service. And that's the Queen of Spain, Doña Sofía, looking over the man's shoulder. Her Majesty was not pleased so she is suing the company, according to recent reports. Her attorney, Antonio Hernández-Gil, Dean of the College of Lawyers of Madrid is representing her in suit for using her image without permission in such a way that it is 'harmful to the dignity and honour of Her majesty,' a conclusion also arrived at by the self regulating body Autocontrol (Asociación para la Autorregulación de la Comunicación Comercial), which also said that it should be removed immediately. 

Virginity auction goes viral, sold for €600,000

BRAZIL Student Catarina Migliorini, 20, put her virginity up for auction when she went public with her need to finance her medical studies in Argentina. The promoter of the controversial auction announced last Thursday that a contract had been drawn up the winner, after bidding came from 15 men from India, USA, Brazil and Japan. It was the latter who won. Now a meeting is scheduled between seller an buyer at a 'secret location' so the contract can be consummated. The Australian website that carried the sale has since closed, but not before a young Russian named Alexandr also put up his virginity, which was bought by a Brazilian woman for a mere €2,300. Catarina, by the way, says she is not prostituting herself because this a one-time-only event.

This is GOOD news: saved by a minute!

Baby Francisco, his parents
and his 'saviours'
(Photo: http://media.grupojoly.com)

JEREZ We were looking  for some good news among the gloom, and we found this piece about ... here it is: The Local Police was on a stake out in the early hours of Sunday morning, in the Casines neighbourhood of Puerto Real when they were approached by a young man, "Please help! My wife is about to give birth! She can't stand up!" He was desperate. In the background, a woman sitting on some steps was shouting "I can feel him!" The police didn't hesitate. They picked her up and put her and her husband -and the child, one imagines- into the undercover patrol car and screeched off to the Puerto Real hospital, sirens blaring. Other police units joined in, escorting them all the way. That was the beginning of a good story with a happy ending. COMING SOON: SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION>>>

Chinese businessman offers to buy fire station

Before the translator arrived

He wanted to buy the fire trucks at first

JEREZ / JIMENA We have been asked several times why Jimena's fire station is up for sale. There was a sign up saying so, so it must have beeen, right? Well, no. It was a way for the firemen to protest about not having been paid. Fire stations throughout the province of Cádiz have been festooned with SE VENDE signs, Jimena being one of the less intensely so. But there's a good story about what happened at one of the fire stations in Jerez. Here goes: YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO READ THE REST OF ITEMS LIKE THIS UNLESS YOU SUBSCRIBE. Subscription info coming soon>>>

Couldn't resist this little lot

Just loved these ...

Benidoom: it's not surprising!

BENIDORM On July 12 The Sun published an explosive article about Benidorm, saying that it's days as a major tourist resort were numbered, and so on. The Olive Press this week suggested that 'It's not all Benidoom' in an article curiously placed in a section titled 'La Cultura', offering alternative such places (always supposing you want one, which we definitely don't). And by sheer coincidence -- if you believe in coincidences -- our friend (on Facebook and otherwise) Pete Humphries put us onto his colourful collection of photos of that sated resort up the Costa. You will see a slide show of a selection of them below, which will explain not only why the place is a shambles but also why we wouldn't want to touch it with our barge pole. (Thanks, Pete, that's all we needed over lunch!)

Wait a minute!

It's not easy to believe at first. This is not a real airport, nor is it recorded with tilt shift effect. It's a model of the world's biggest airport, Hamburg, and is located at Knuffingen in Germany. To build the model cost no less than €3.5m, took six years and takes up over 150 square meters. You can see over 40 planes in action every day, in 360 operations, including virtual take offs and landings. There are some 4,500 vehicles of all kinds, looking very real. See for yourself.

Plum ready, says the boss

We took this photo recently at the Parque de las Aves in Jimena (more about that soon, and, hopefully, an ad!). We like it and hope you do. We also like plums. We received a gift of four kilos of plums from a good friend, and we (Prospero memo to monkeys: stop this royal we, you're talking about your boss, dammit!!) proceeded to make some jam. He burned it. Then he added water and got a lovely almíbar (light watery syrup), which is very sweet and in the fridge. Then he reduced the mess and finally got enough jam to fill a couple of jars (which none of his friends will be getting for Christmas out of sheer embarrassment). He has tried the jam - it's bleedin' good, he says. (He recently received a lovely gift from some other good friends: a lot of figs. No jam, he says, not even for Christmas. Mean beggar, the boss.) (Prospero note: slow summer, have you noticed? Also, looking for some lemons...)

Today is St Mary the Crowned's Day -- so?

Jimena's St. Mary the Crowned

SAN ROQUE / JIMENA We are bad on saint's days - no, we're not good at knowing or remembering which saint is when. But we picked up an article to say that today, August 15, is Saint Mary the Crowned's Day, and celebrations were being held in San Roque at 8 tonight, with a procession of the saint, who will emerge from her church in one of the town's lovely squares, and yesterday saw the traditional offering of flowers to her image. The name rang a bell. Then we remembered that Jimena also had a church dedicated to Saint Mary the Crowned (Santa María la Coronada). But it no longer exists: the only remains are the bell tower (campanario) on the main square there, and some of the buildings to the West of it, which over the years have been incorporated into homes there. (An article on the history of the square is in preparation. Watch this space.)

Just the right attitude for the summer

We came across this who knows where on internet looking for something else. The board is at a chiringuito somewhere in the province of Cádiz; it bares translating: "Hurry of any kind is not allowed. The food does not come in tins. Relax, you're on holiday. Thanks for your visit." We like it!

Exploding food myths Number 1: Bread is fattening

(We warned you about our Exploding Food Myths here) Bread is rich in carbohydrates of the type known as of slow-absorption, which means the body releases energy little by little and thus maintains the sense of fulfillment longer. About 50-55% of the energy we need comes from carbohydrates, the nutrient we need in largest proportion, and the basis of the Mediterranean Diet. Another common myth in the bread department is that the crust is less fattening than the inner part. In fact, they are both the same, though the innards contain more water and air and have cooked less. However, pound for pound -make that gramme for gramme- the crust is more fattening because it is more concentrated. Alternatives such as toast and picos (those little breadsticks you get with a tapa) have as many calories as the inner part of a loaf. But, let's face it, what really adds the calories to a piece of bread is what goes with it: butter, sauces, all kinds of pepperoni, bologna, hams, etc., etc. (Incidentally, have you tried the spare ribs at the restaurant at the campsite in Jimena yet? They come with a definitely caloric burst of sauce that just has to be wiped up with a nice piece of fresh bread.) (No, Jorge and Ketina do not sponsor this item.)

Arrows to nowhere - like the economy

LOS BARRIOS We took this picture some time ago but it got lost in the vortex called 'Photos', which is somewhere on a computer. It shows - well, you can see for yourself if you click on it. By the way, those are not garages or openings of any kind on the front of Carrefour, and the cars go by on their way out ... Wonder if anyone followed the arrows ... That, and we thought it's a good illustration of how Spain's economy is on a road to nowhere - or maybe somewhere but nobody knows where. Just a thought...

Credit where credit is due: nice things DO happen

JIMENA When something's right, we like to say so - we do spend a lot of time complaining. This is one of those good things. The necklace you see here was lost earlier in the year. Lots of sentimental value, grandmothers and mothers involved. Much searching desperately. Did I take it off and put it who knows where? Did it catch on a sweater as I pulled it off? Did I ... you know the feeling. Forget it, it's lost, get over it. Niggling thoughts in back of head for several months. Then, all of a sudden, the owner meets up with someone and mentions the necklace to her (still niggling in back of head, is why) and that person says, 'But I took one just like it months ago to the Ayuntamiento!' Yes, it was still there, and is now recovered and being worn again. (We do like nice, real stories... got any?)

'Even the Gibraltar monkeys come to us'

Photo: europasur.es

LA LÍNEA This photo appeared in today's online edition of Europa Sur. The billboard, which shows a chimp with braces, reads as it says in the headline above (with only a little editing), advertising a dental clinic. Of course, there will be those who take offence because this is not a macaco sylvana, better identified as a Gibraltar ape. Still, it gets the message across. (Come to think of it, that dental clinic should be advertising here, on CampoPulse! And so should your business, too.)

Where's the Rock gone?

LA LÍNEA Interesting photo published this morning in Europa Sur: the frontier minus the Rock behind it. A mistery.

Volkswagen hot dogs and ketchup?

Photo: grupojoly.com

GERMANY They have known it for years in Germany, but the rest of the world may not: aside from well-considered cars and other vehicles, Volkswagen has been making sausages and ketchup under their own brand since the 1930s. Known as Currywurst, the sausages taste of, you guessed it, curry. The ketchup is much like all of them, apparently. Made originally for the company's own cafeterias and dining rooms, the 'people's car' line is now available on supermarket shelves throughout Germany, supplied from the sausage factory in Wolfsburg, which produced almost 5 million sausages and about half a million bottles of the tomato-based sauce in 2011. Oh, and Audi makes its own line of Weisswurst - yes, white sausages. But then Audi is now owned by VW, so no surprise. (Source: concuchilloytenedor.es)

A very wooden lunch

(Photo: D. Calvente)

JIMENA There was a crafts exhibition at El Castillo Restaurant this weekend. Among the exhibitors was one Domingo Calvente, who specialises in making things out of wood he finds in the campo - and is better known for his 'road kill ostrich'. This time he set a table, with everything you could possibly need for a good meal. There's the cutlery, the glasses, the salt & pepper, even the cutlets on the plate - all made out of wood. If you have an item that might fit into our Bits 'n' Pieces section, please send it in; we'll publish it if it isn't offensive.

Good exercise, but could be dangerous

JIMENA This is one of several groups of adult exercise machines in the municipality; is the one on the 'yellow brick road' leading from Estación to Jimena village. It is much used by local people, but we're told that several of the bolts on some of the machines have rusted away, and could be dangerous. Now, we're no Health-&-Safety-taken-to-ridiculous-extremes fans here at CampoPulse, but, getting on in years as we are, we do believe that these very useful health-promoting equipment should be maintained adequately, if only for safety (never mind the thousands they will have cost to install...) If you have a gripe such as this, large or small, from wherever you are, please send it in and we'll publish it, as long as it's not offensive.

What is this?

What is going on here? Is he (we know it's a he coz we took the picture) making churros? Is he winding up a friend? Is it an old DJ mixing table (what d'you call those things, anyway?)?  The answer, next Wednesday.

Have you found Snoopy yet?

JIMENA Yesterday, Monday, we posted a picture of the firefighters' building just outside the main village. Snoopy is on there, as we can prove herewith. The idea was to get you, Dear JimenaPulse Reader, to move over to CampoPulse, as this one will be disappearing at the end of the month - that's Thursday! So if you haven't yet put CampoPulse into your Bookmarks /Favourites list, this is the time to do so. Note to advertisers: as from Friday, June 1, your ads will now be appearing exclusively on CampoPulse, which gives you better value for money as the readership increases considerably and your message spreads further. If you have any questions, please e-mail us, or comment below.